Okay, I need to be in the bed, but I just had to blog about this, because it is nasty and irritating, and I hope my mother doesn't read my blog, because she doesn't need to know all of this...
But, I absolutely cannot stand when a guy asks me if he can perform oral on me, or do something sexual with me....ummmmmm....for what????
This is especially disturbing when I don't really know you..Why would you ask a female that? If you are put your mouth and penis on and in every female that says yes, what makes you think I'm going to say yes?!?!? Some men are just nasty, and that's not a good look at all....
I often wonder if there is a sign on my forehead that I cannot see and only men can see that says I'm gullible, stupid, freaky, will do anything you ask me to do...or just something degrading....
The thing that kills me the most is that the guys always offering these sexual favors are usually ugly..I think these men feel like since they are not too cute, they have to compensate for their shortcomings with their "skills"... If that's the case, more power to you, but how about use that for your girlfriend or your wife, not me!
Last time I checked, STDs can be transmitted through oral sex as well, so men and women, please keep your nasty lil tongues to yourself and quit offering your unwanted services to every Tom, Dick, Harry, Tina, Diana, and Heather..ok..thanks!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Does our past define who we are, and our actions?
This blog is one that I have to tread lightly upon writing about, but yet I feel compelled to write this blog because it explains a little bit about who I am....
I am the way I am because of the things I've experienced in my past, things I'm experiencing now, and I'm hoping to learn life lessons from the things I'm learning now, so that I don't carry the bad ish into my future...
Anyways, I was sitting and pondering why I act the way I do, and I think it goes back to childhood, and not fully dealing with some of the things that I should have dealt with, but instead, pushed it aside like it never existed. I don't like to open old wounds and hurts because all that is going to do is simply make issues worse..
I know that I carry some of my parents traits, whether good or bad, and the bad --- well ---- I don't want to carry the bad. We grow up and watch our parents make mistakes, and then vow to never make the same mistakes they did...Sometimes I think I get so focused on making sure history never repeats itself...but sometimes....history does repeat itself, and I find myself mimicking what I've seen or heard. By me being the copycat, I'm obviously sabotaging things for myself, and that must stop.
I'll give an example...For instance, one side of my family is known for drinking a lot...So being true to the family name, I can drink a lot myself. It's not something to brag about or boast about, but I can most definitely hold my own. There was a point for me in college where I was drinking every single day...couldn't go a day without a drink...why???? Simply because that is what I saw growing up, and that is what I justified as normal....But of course, I reprogrammed my train of thought, and stopped with the drinking, cuz it's obviously stupid, and stopped myself from the path of destruction I was well on my way to being on....I didn't have to join an AA group or anything like that, and I didn't quit drinking cold turkey, b/c I obviously still drink today, but the point is, I was copying stuff I had no business copying....
I have better examples, but that's all I feel like sharing...lol
This blog is not going to make sense to anybody probably, but that's okay, I know what I'm talking about. I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are things from my past that happened so frequently, and so often, that it's hard to not carry those things with me into the present. The problem is, I need to let those things go, but it's hard to. So the question I pose is, how do you let go of something that happened in the past that was so monumental that it impacts you in the present?
I am the way I am because of the things I've experienced in my past, things I'm experiencing now, and I'm hoping to learn life lessons from the things I'm learning now, so that I don't carry the bad ish into my future...
Anyways, I was sitting and pondering why I act the way I do, and I think it goes back to childhood, and not fully dealing with some of the things that I should have dealt with, but instead, pushed it aside like it never existed. I don't like to open old wounds and hurts because all that is going to do is simply make issues worse..
I know that I carry some of my parents traits, whether good or bad, and the bad --- well ---- I don't want to carry the bad. We grow up and watch our parents make mistakes, and then vow to never make the same mistakes they did...Sometimes I think I get so focused on making sure history never repeats itself...but sometimes....history does repeat itself, and I find myself mimicking what I've seen or heard. By me being the copycat, I'm obviously sabotaging things for myself, and that must stop.
I'll give an example...For instance, one side of my family is known for drinking a lot...So being true to the family name, I can drink a lot myself. It's not something to brag about or boast about, but I can most definitely hold my own. There was a point for me in college where I was drinking every single day...couldn't go a day without a drink...why???? Simply because that is what I saw growing up, and that is what I justified as normal....But of course, I reprogrammed my train of thought, and stopped with the drinking, cuz it's obviously stupid, and stopped myself from the path of destruction I was well on my way to being on....I didn't have to join an AA group or anything like that, and I didn't quit drinking cold turkey, b/c I obviously still drink today, but the point is, I was copying stuff I had no business copying....
I have better examples, but that's all I feel like sharing...lol
This blog is not going to make sense to anybody probably, but that's okay, I know what I'm talking about. I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are things from my past that happened so frequently, and so often, that it's hard to not carry those things with me into the present. The problem is, I need to let those things go, but it's hard to. So the question I pose is, how do you let go of something that happened in the past that was so monumental that it impacts you in the present?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Finding "Mr. Right"
2 blogs in one day -- what a treat!
Ok, so finding Mr. Right is becoming one of my life missions, because I'm getting closer to 30, and most people feel like finding their lifelong mate is imperative by this age. I don't feel like it is imperative, but I think it is a realistic goal to find your mate by the time you are 30. Most people in their 20's are about games, living life, and playing the field. I feel like, as we get closer to 30, we realize that life is more than just fun and games, and we start thinking about settling down and finding the one....
So in order to do this, you have to start dating more seriously so that you can find "the one". Now I've been single for 4 1/2 years, and wasted those single 4 1/2 years playing childish games with a grown man, where I cannot fault anybody but myself, but I digress... My point is, I'm ready to be more serious about dating, but have no clue where to start since I've been out of the game for so long. So where do you start?
There are so many past hurts, trust issues, insecurities, and low self-esteem, that have all resulted in me putting up a wall and not being able to progress into something new. How do you get past that? I can set goals for myself in life to achieve other things, but when it comes to the love life department, I'm a complete idiot, and need a guide.
Sometimes I get sucked into comparing past relationships and the ex to the potential new person. When I do this, I find flaws, and withdraw myself from the situation, ultimately making myself miss out on a potential boo. I have no clue how to stop this, except for finding a man that can prove to me that he is not like the rest or the exes.
I've also tried to learn from my mistakes in my past relationships, so that I do not mess up with future ones, but I find myself trying too hard sometimes. I wear my emotions on my sleeve now, and that's truly blocking the boo pieces from finding me and getting with me, which is NOT good!! I am a good catch, I am a good woman, I have a lot of good qualities, BUT, I'm just scared of a GOOD MAN... again I ask, where do they do that at?!?!?
At this point, I think it's going to take a heck of a man, and a lot of me breaking down my walls in order for me to progress and move on to start a new relationship. The healing process of getting over an ex lasts way too long for me, and that is something I have to work on. I've heard from many men that they can look at a woman and tell if she is scorned and what she has been through. Is that true?
Anyways, so since I'm new to the dating world again, I have no clue about doing the right and wrong things... Are women supposed to pay for dates? Are men supposed to still be chivalrous and open doors, pull out seats, etc? Should the man be the one who pursues the woman, or is it okay for the woman to pursue the man without seeming like she's a stalker? I have no clue how any of this works, so until I get some answers or until I find a man that will take the lead, show me that he is interested and become my boo, I guess I will be stuck...
But on the flip side, I have met some guys, who seem genuinely sweet, but have a sneaky motive like getting me into bed or having me get an apartment in my name for them...ya know crazy stuff like that. So those "relationships" crash and burn before they can even really take off because a man always does something to turn me off immediately. If a man is truly interested in a woman then they should put in the work, and it feels like men are too lazy to put in the work these days. I use to blame the fact that I'm a BBW as the reason why I couldn't find a man, but that has nothing to do with it, some men are just lame, and possibly I needed more time to work on myself before opening the door to let someone else enter my life. Whatever the reason might be, something needs to change soon, cuz it's cuffing season, and I'm ready for my boo, but it has to be the RIGHT boo...
Ok, so finding Mr. Right is becoming one of my life missions, because I'm getting closer to 30, and most people feel like finding their lifelong mate is imperative by this age. I don't feel like it is imperative, but I think it is a realistic goal to find your mate by the time you are 30. Most people in their 20's are about games, living life, and playing the field. I feel like, as we get closer to 30, we realize that life is more than just fun and games, and we start thinking about settling down and finding the one....
So in order to do this, you have to start dating more seriously so that you can find "the one". Now I've been single for 4 1/2 years, and wasted those single 4 1/2 years playing childish games with a grown man, where I cannot fault anybody but myself, but I digress... My point is, I'm ready to be more serious about dating, but have no clue where to start since I've been out of the game for so long. So where do you start?
There are so many past hurts, trust issues, insecurities, and low self-esteem, that have all resulted in me putting up a wall and not being able to progress into something new. How do you get past that? I can set goals for myself in life to achieve other things, but when it comes to the love life department, I'm a complete idiot, and need a guide.
Sometimes I get sucked into comparing past relationships and the ex to the potential new person. When I do this, I find flaws, and withdraw myself from the situation, ultimately making myself miss out on a potential boo. I have no clue how to stop this, except for finding a man that can prove to me that he is not like the rest or the exes.
I've also tried to learn from my mistakes in my past relationships, so that I do not mess up with future ones, but I find myself trying too hard sometimes. I wear my emotions on my sleeve now, and that's truly blocking the boo pieces from finding me and getting with me, which is NOT good!! I am a good catch, I am a good woman, I have a lot of good qualities, BUT, I'm just scared of a GOOD MAN... again I ask, where do they do that at?!?!?
At this point, I think it's going to take a heck of a man, and a lot of me breaking down my walls in order for me to progress and move on to start a new relationship. The healing process of getting over an ex lasts way too long for me, and that is something I have to work on. I've heard from many men that they can look at a woman and tell if she is scorned and what she has been through. Is that true?
Anyways, so since I'm new to the dating world again, I have no clue about doing the right and wrong things... Are women supposed to pay for dates? Are men supposed to still be chivalrous and open doors, pull out seats, etc? Should the man be the one who pursues the woman, or is it okay for the woman to pursue the man without seeming like she's a stalker? I have no clue how any of this works, so until I get some answers or until I find a man that will take the lead, show me that he is interested and become my boo, I guess I will be stuck...
But on the flip side, I have met some guys, who seem genuinely sweet, but have a sneaky motive like getting me into bed or having me get an apartment in my name for them...ya know crazy stuff like that. So those "relationships" crash and burn before they can even really take off because a man always does something to turn me off immediately. If a man is truly interested in a woman then they should put in the work, and it feels like men are too lazy to put in the work these days. I use to blame the fact that I'm a BBW as the reason why I couldn't find a man, but that has nothing to do with it, some men are just lame, and possibly I needed more time to work on myself before opening the door to let someone else enter my life. Whatever the reason might be, something needs to change soon, cuz it's cuffing season, and I'm ready for my boo, but it has to be the RIGHT boo...
10 Year Reunion -- AHHHHH
The time is quickly approaching for my 10-year high school reunion to take place next year, and I'm a little bit hesitant to go for many reasons..
I don't feel like I am where I should be, and where I want to be, in comparison to my peers. Many of them are married, have careers, children, a house, new cars, white picket fence, etc....I don't have a husband, I have a job NOT a career, no children, no new car, no house of my own, no white picket fence, and no man. So as you can tell I'm a little apprehensive about what they will think about me....Now I know I'm not the worst in my class, because the worst person turned out to be a serial killer currently in a Panama Prison, who happens to be a female (#wheredeydodatat?), BUT I know I'm not the best either...I just don't want to go in there half-steppin and not having much to say except for I made it this far alive.
I'm basically writing all this to say...I hope I have a career, a man, a new car, and a house/apartment/or townhouse of my own before this reunion comes in the spring or summer of next year. I have control over all of the things except the man, so I can and I must work on making those things happen, not only for the sake of me wanting to say something positive at the reunion, but because I need to get my grown woman on.
So, have you been to your high school reunion and felt like a bum compared to your peers? Does it really matter?
I don't feel like I am where I should be, and where I want to be, in comparison to my peers. Many of them are married, have careers, children, a house, new cars, white picket fence, etc....I don't have a husband, I have a job NOT a career, no children, no new car, no house of my own, no white picket fence, and no man. So as you can tell I'm a little apprehensive about what they will think about me....Now I know I'm not the worst in my class, because the worst person turned out to be a serial killer currently in a Panama Prison, who happens to be a female (#wheredeydodatat?), BUT I know I'm not the best either...I just don't want to go in there half-steppin and not having much to say except for I made it this far alive.
I'm basically writing all this to say...I hope I have a career, a man, a new car, and a house/apartment/or townhouse of my own before this reunion comes in the spring or summer of next year. I have control over all of the things except the man, so I can and I must work on making those things happen, not only for the sake of me wanting to say something positive at the reunion, but because I need to get my grown woman on.
So, have you been to your high school reunion and felt like a bum compared to your peers? Does it really matter?
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Negative Nancy and Negative Nick
Negative Nancy and Negative Nick...We all have encountered these girls and guys who are nothing but negative, right? Now I understand that sometimes life can throw us some curve balls and we can get upset and be negative. What is wrong with trying to be positive?
The Secret was the big phenomenon that utilizes the visualization of positive outcomes in order to achieve the things that we want to acquire. The idea is that when you are confident about something, visualize it, it will happen. So if this is the case if we are being negative we will manifest nothing but negative things, and if we are positive we will generate and manifest positive things.
For instance, saying that you won't get a job that you really want, can possibly result in you not getting that job because you are speaking the negativity into existence. Now I'm not saying that if you say I have the job, the job is mine, etc....is going to guarantee you the job, but having this positive attitude is much better than having the negative attitude, right? Even religious people often state "I'm claiming it..."
Eh...so basically all I'm saying is, I understand life sucks at times but we gotta make the best of it sometimes..Imagine if today was your last day on Earth, and all you did was whine, complain, and be depressed.....I don't want my last breath to be one filled of negativity...do you?
Now I'm guilty myself of being negative at times, but as I am a work in progress, and I'm not perfect. I realize that I want better things for myself and I'm working at getting better and being better. This post applies to me as well, so if you hear me being negative, tell me to refer to my blog. Life is too short. Live it up!
The Secret was the big phenomenon that utilizes the visualization of positive outcomes in order to achieve the things that we want to acquire. The idea is that when you are confident about something, visualize it, it will happen. So if this is the case if we are being negative we will manifest nothing but negative things, and if we are positive we will generate and manifest positive things.
For instance, saying that you won't get a job that you really want, can possibly result in you not getting that job because you are speaking the negativity into existence. Now I'm not saying that if you say I have the job, the job is mine, etc....is going to guarantee you the job, but having this positive attitude is much better than having the negative attitude, right? Even religious people often state "I'm claiming it..."
Eh...so basically all I'm saying is, I understand life sucks at times but we gotta make the best of it sometimes..Imagine if today was your last day on Earth, and all you did was whine, complain, and be depressed.....I don't want my last breath to be one filled of negativity...do you?
Now I'm guilty myself of being negative at times, but as I am a work in progress, and I'm not perfect. I realize that I want better things for myself and I'm working at getting better and being better. This post applies to me as well, so if you hear me being negative, tell me to refer to my blog. Life is too short. Live it up!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Babies having Babies?!?!
Now most of my blogs are inspired by Youtube as usual, but this particular story just made my stomach hurt. The story is about a 10 year old girl in Spain who recently had a baby. This little girl got pregnant at the age of 9 and this seriously is an issue. The baby's father is also a minor as well, and both of the families appear to be okay with this, because it is considered the norm for some people in Spain. Last time I checked, it just is NOT normal to have a child when you are that young! I mean you aren't even fully developed at that age. Gross!!
When I was 9 years old, I enjoyed my childhood (to the best of my ability). I had no idea what sex was, nor did I care to find out. I didn't even have my period yet, and I sure as heck wasn't even done developing yet. Who thinks about gettin it in with someone at 9?
Why is it becoming more and more socially acceptable for kids to have kids? If I have a daughter, do I need to get her on the birth control patch as soon as her period starts? I mean, really....
I'm 27 years old, and I am scared to death at the idea of being a mother...I simply have no idea how to parent a child, but if it happened I think I could prepare a lot better than a child could. It's hard enough to feed myself, I most def am not trying to feed someone else.
Babies are bundles of joy and wonderful to have, but not too great to have when you aren't ready. Sadly enough, if this child was born in the U.S., I'm almost confident that the child would get Medicaid, WIC benefits, and food stamps. Not saying these resources are a bad thing, but just saying it is what a 9 year old would have to rely on most likely.
I think parents need to do a better job of educating their children on the "birds and the bees" as early as 8 years old it seems like. The kids keep getting younger and younger, and that's just disgusting. I'm not for abortions, so I do agree in making the child have the baby, but I don't know if the child should keep the baby or not..Adoption sounds like a great option in this situation, because seriously, this could be more like her little sister or brother instead of her actual child. Obviously the 9 year old cannot get a job to support her baby, since she's a minor, right? SMH...
Moral of this story is parents talk to your kids, the earlier the better, or else you will find yourself raising another child....
When I was 9 years old, I enjoyed my childhood (to the best of my ability). I had no idea what sex was, nor did I care to find out. I didn't even have my period yet, and I sure as heck wasn't even done developing yet. Who thinks about gettin it in with someone at 9?
Why is it becoming more and more socially acceptable for kids to have kids? If I have a daughter, do I need to get her on the birth control patch as soon as her period starts? I mean, really....
I'm 27 years old, and I am scared to death at the idea of being a mother...I simply have no idea how to parent a child, but if it happened I think I could prepare a lot better than a child could. It's hard enough to feed myself, I most def am not trying to feed someone else.
Babies are bundles of joy and wonderful to have, but not too great to have when you aren't ready. Sadly enough, if this child was born in the U.S., I'm almost confident that the child would get Medicaid, WIC benefits, and food stamps. Not saying these resources are a bad thing, but just saying it is what a 9 year old would have to rely on most likely.
I think parents need to do a better job of educating their children on the "birds and the bees" as early as 8 years old it seems like. The kids keep getting younger and younger, and that's just disgusting. I'm not for abortions, so I do agree in making the child have the baby, but I don't know if the child should keep the baby or not..Adoption sounds like a great option in this situation, because seriously, this could be more like her little sister or brother instead of her actual child. Obviously the 9 year old cannot get a job to support her baby, since she's a minor, right? SMH...
Moral of this story is parents talk to your kids, the earlier the better, or else you will find yourself raising another child....
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